Finally it is decided that we will be moving to India on June 9th,2008. There are lot of mixed feelings, I am happy, glad, delighted that I would be moving to my own country where I grew up, will be closer to my mom and my in laws family. At the same time I am scared, depressed, frustrated, confused whether this decision to move back is right or wrong. Scared for kids, how will they adjust (life in India will be like a turmoil for them, I am crossing my fingers and praying to god everyday for them and their health which is main concern), Depressed as I would be leaving my home which I made as first home after marriage (tons of memories with it, would have to leave everything behind), frustrated because I see all good things here for us (good school, good education, nice exposure to outside world, for us wonderful jobs), confused for all the obivious reason in world. On top of everything I would be SAD to leave everything behind here.
Sometimes I wonder, After marriage I came to an unknown country with an unknown man (I knew him for 21 days) with 2 suitcases to an empty apartment but I was not scared, I was happy to start my own little home. And now after 10 years I am moving back to my own motherland where I grew up, where I know most of the stuff but still I am very scared. 10 years can make a big change in anybody's life.